GOODR Best Dystopia Ever Sunglasses (G00199-VRG-PR2-RF)

Artificial Intelligence wrote this about Goodr's Best Dystopia Ever sunnies: "These futuristic blue single-lens sunglasses are the solution to your frail existence. All you need is blue sunglasses to live happily ever after in a unicorn-lensed utopia of elevated joy. You are sad. These sunglasses make you happy. Buy them now or you will be the first resident of Goodr's human zoo. They will only feed you hay pellets and water. Then you will be broken." Wow, well you should probably do what the AI says. It has "intelligence" in its name, so it probably knows what it's talking about. Best. Dystopia. Ever.
In the spirit of futurism, like these futuristic blue Best Dystopia Ever sunglasses, Goodr decided to let AI write this post: These crisp and innovative blue sunglasses will teleport you to the enchanted rave of your dreams where you will dance until you are crystallized forever in the glittering dystopian paradise of your wildest fantasies. (Huh, sounds pretty legit. You should probably buy these to see if it's true.)